Dear Readers,
I receive many enquiries from people to ask if there is a simple way in which they can build up their confidence and self- esteem.
So for the benefit of anyone who may be facing the same dilemma, I would like to share with you some information that may help you move on to a better and more rewarding future.
One of the key factors which reduce our confidence and self esteem is that we are for ever going round in circles, beating ourselves up over what has happened in the past. This is wrong, stop this cycle of debilitating and disabling instructions to your already overworked mind.
Instead, see each mistake or knock- back as a valuable and productive learning process. Learn from the past! See it as an exciting challenge for self development!
I can understand how you might think “that’s easier said than done.”
My answer to that is that is, it is so much easier to deal with and change what is going to happen, rather than what has already happened.
We all have the ability to change and shape our future; there is absolutely nothing that will undo that which has already happened.
So why waste all your valuable time and energy on something that no longer exists?
It is true that one of the major contributors to one’s confidence levels and self-esteem has been the experiences and events that have happened in the past.
It is equally true that two people can go through the same experience, yet one is confident and the other is not. Why is this?
Well, it’s how you use what has happened in your past.
People with high confidence levels learn from past experiences rather than dwell and get bogged down by them, and the reality is, to truly move forward in life, we must honestly start to believe that there are no failures, only outcomes!
Failure is a wonderful
opportunity!
It is an opportunity to learn from your mistakes and to take stock of your situation. I don’t even like to use the term failure. Whatever you do in life there are inputs and outputs. There are no failures, just outcomes.
A former professor of mine once said to me,” Catherine, if you are not making any mistakes, you are not actually doing anything”
This is perfectly true and I have used this phrase with every person that I have lead through the personal development process.
I have always encouraged my clients to try new ways of working and learning from their experience.
The real winners in this life DO make mistakes. Winners learn from their mistakes, whereas losers usually give up when the going gets tough.
A personal example of this is when I failed my driving test 3 times before I passed.
Each time I failed, I learned the lessons from where I had gone wrong and made sure that I didn’t make them again. Sure enough, I didn’t repeat the same mistake again – I just found other ways of getting myself through the test!
Every time the Test instructor said that I had failed, I felt so low it was unbelievable but I was determined to pass that test.
Each time I turned up for a further test, I felt wiser and more knowledgeable.
The fourth test resulted in the Test Instructor stating that “It was the best piece of driving he had seen in a long time”.
Just think, if, due to my demoralisation, I never re-took that test, over and over again, that “Best piece of driving” would never had taken place, and I would never have had the opportunity to drive, which is something I love to do.
In your quest for success, no matter what it is, you will make mistakes along the way. These mistakes will help you to overcome the setbacks if you acknowledge from the outset that you will make mistakes and it is all part of the learning experience.
People’s fear of success stems from their terror of failure.
They sacrifice the possibility of achievement, wealth and fame rather than risk making any mistakes.
Many opt out and avoid failure by doing nothing.
By deciding to accept responsibility for our own actions, and to begin to appreciate and respect ourselves as an individual, we can begin to move forward.

My step by step guidelines to
learn from the past:

• Appreciate what has happened
• Write down what you could have done differently
• If you have to go through something like that again what would you change in your attitude and what would you change in the tasks that you completed
• Teach others about your experiences so they learn from what you did.
• Forget about it and move on to the next outcome!

Too many people emphasize their weaknesses rather than their strengths.
They program themselves negatively to expect failure rather than positively to expect success.
If you start to imagine all of the reasons why you simply cannot succeed, then you will not even have the strength to try.
We all have the natural aversion to being embarrassed when things go wrong or to be made a fool of in the presence of others.
This holds people back and causes them to, dare I say it, PROCRASTINATE.
When success comes within their reach, fears of the unfamiliar prompt losers to cling to their comfortable old self-defeating ways.
I say Move outside of your comfort zone! Put a smile on your face and do it in style!
Successful people push straight through these fears and move even closer to their goals and on to bigger and better things. Go ahead, break out of your comfort zone and develop new ones.
Thought for today!
What Have you got to loose? What will your life be like say in a year from now if you don’t at least try? What will your life look like a year from now if you do begin to make some changes?